From Aunt Jenny
2021-22

December 2, 2021
Stories about Aunt Pat

Aunt Pat

Pat Owen – Mom’s (Margaret Mae Penn Elam) sister born 1/20/1926
Patsy Thompson Penn Owen married to Buzzie (MV Owen) a little before Mom and Dad (Margaret and David) got married so about 1948.

They lived in Dayton, Ohio (last address was 1975 Burnham Lane, Dayton) until they moved to Florida when I was 16, so 53 years ago. Along with Aunt Bet (Betsy Burton Penn Reichardt), I helped Pat and Buzzie move to Florida, both their Danish Christmas plate business called The Viking Import House and their home. Bet loved to lie by the swimming pool after a hard day’s work so I remember the pool.

Pat and Buzzie and Bet and Ernie (they were later divorced) and others played music. Pat played the accordion and Buzzie played an electric mandolin. I loved music so that was special time. Pat loved to feed the animals from the woods on her back patio. She always said to me, “Take in the beauty of nature and you will become beautiful.”

I was Aunt Pat’s maid before she moved to Florida. She was the most meticulous housekeeper I ever knew. If there were even a streak on the tile in the bathroom, I had to do it over. I love it that she taught me how to clean house (even if I don’t keep house like she did).

Pat and Buzzie had a boat built in Norway and from 1964-66, they sailed it across the ocean. Amazing! Not long after that is when they wanted to move to Ft. Lauderdale so they could sail their boat, called the Viking.

They moved – 2100 So Ocean Drive, Apt 17L, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316

An amazing condo that looks over the harbor and ocean.

After Buzzie died (he was a lot older than Pat), she started a foundation called Second Chance Society to benefit people who are homeless. That continues. Pat worked there until the pandemic.

Last week I went to Ft Lauderdale for Thanksgiving so I could see my aunt. I had not seen her in a long time. I was so glad to see her and sad too.

Jenny and Pat visit Thanksgiving week, 2021

View from Sky Harbor East

Ft Lauderdale harbor at night from Pats condo

View from Pat’s condo

The Viking

Young Aunt Pat Owen

Jenny and Aunt Pat at Thanksgiving dinner, 2021

Family Stories for Nieces and Nephews January 2022 passing the torch

January’s story was published in “Passing the Torch” an edited book by Chuck Fager. Chuck wanted to highlight the legacies of 11 Quakers he believed have led amazing lives. Download it here

Jennifer is writing a new book called Transforming Trauma with Creative Expression

Transforming Trauma Using Creative Expression

(from the darkness, the Light starts to come in, until finally it shines forth; the blue sky alternates with rain, and finally, the green growth brings the new day)

The Personal Becomes the Universal, The Universal Becomes the Personal: Microcosm

HATE: Betrayal of them and me
I never felt hated, until now.
At my daddy’s memorial, his granddaughter quoted him as saying,
“I never understood hate.”
Now it is the norm across my country.
Now it is norm in my family, as microcosm.

They hate me because I am different.
They hate me because I left. Coming back doesn’t count anymore.
They hate me for my religion. Quakerism is just a mysterious evil.
They hate me for my politics. Snowflake liberal.
Supporting choice and gay rights brought the “wrath of God on our country.”
They hate me for getting educated. There’s never been a Ph.D. in THIS family.
They hate me for betraying them,

When I was following my callings.
God, I listened as best as I knew how.
Now I realize that I listened well and I did betray them.
I did betray myself too.
I changed to “get along” in a world that does not accept Appalachian people.
As the good professor said, “Now you get it from both sides.”

And that is how it is NOW, in my new family,
And that is how it is NOW, in the new America.
And that is how it is NOW, in the new world.

(end of part 1)
Out There-ness

I was targeted by HATE…HATE CRIME…TERRORISTIC THREAT…how can that be? I never hated anyone. I am traumatized.
I try to tell others….

Faces

Look back at me blankly;

Faces

Say, “But, you are not Muslim, Black, Latino, LGBT…”

Faces

Say, “But, you are privileged…”

Faces

Look back at me blankly;

Faces

Say, “I am here to HELP others – you are too much like me.”

Faces

Say, “You are telling me that it could be me.”

Faces

Say, “I have not faced that possibility.”

Voices

Change the subject, and move on with the REAL agenda.

Out there-ness…denial…win again. They CAN’T be with me. Now, I am too scary!

Respect Me Instead
When you call the police and lie so they will charge me with a felony, I am shocked; that is cruelty; you are better than that!
When you lie and tell my dad that I am swindling his money, I feel very sad that you are paranoid; that is cruelty; you are better than that!
When you lie and say I am evil and am aggressive toward me, I feel abused; that is cruelty; you are better than that!
When I watch a cancer on my mother’s beautiful face go untreated, I can’t bear it; a person is more than a diagnosis; that is cruelty; you are better than that!
When you obstruct the work I do, I feel frustrated; that is cruelty; you are better than that!
When you tell me I must leave and never come back and that you will abuse me until I do; I feel helpless; that is cruelty; you are better than that.
You make sure the house is so clean so that no one suspects the psychological cruelty that goes on; you do so many things well, you are better than that!
They lied to you when they told you that HATE represents strength and power; it does not; HATE engenders cruelty; you are better than that!
I wonder: What does LOVE look like in the face of this HATE?
The things that happen to me always happen to prepare me for service to God. I have wondered how being hated could serve. Then I realized how privileged a life I have led to be 62-years-old before I experienced unbridled HATE. There are so many others that experience this kind of HATE not for anything they have done but for who they are. I will follow the calling to serve.
You must really love me to hate me this much.
I think you hate me because I left. You are afraid I will leave again. Abuse binds me to you forever, so even though my body may leave, you make sure my spirit is with you always. This is cruelty; you are better than that!

Really, all you have to do is respect me instead.

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